Of course I’m being selfish when I ask you not to fall in love with me. I mean, it’s your right to decide whom to fall in love with, and it’s not like you can help falling for someone who impresses you. You think I’m a mean woman who refuses to accept a good man’s love and is running away because I’m too scared of commitment. Yes, true…all that and more.
When I ask you not to fall in love with me, I’m not being a benevolent soul wanting your love but denying myself its pleasures.
When I ask you not to fall in love with me I’m being selfish and I’m thinking only about myself.
When I ask you not to fall in love with me, I am not pining away for you in silence, hoping that you really will fall in love with me, become my prince and whisk me away into a fairy tale.
When I ask you not to fall in love with me, I’m thinking of some people who will shake their heads in disapproval and tell me to stay away from a man who is too good for me.
When I ask you not to fall in love with me, I’m also thinking of people who will egg me on and tell me to recognize my soul mate in you.
When I ask you not to fall in love with me, what I’m saying is that I’m afraid of what will happen if you really do fall in love with me. I don’t want you to fall for me now and lose the opportunity of meeting and falling in love with someone far more intelligent and more beautiful than myself. I don’t want to be the woman whose heart will break when I hear you say “Why did I ever fall for you?!” someday. I can’t be everything you wish for and I know it only too well. I cannot be the mysterious beauty who haunts your soul till the day you die. I keep asking you this because I know it will be too hard for me to bear the humiliation of yet another rejection. I ask you not to fall in love with me because if things don’t work out, you will curse me and remember me with bitterness all your life. You will say “She was the one who broke my heart”. You will come home from work, tired after a day’s pursuit of happiness; there I will be, waiting to nag you about how you never have enough time for me. And you will hate me because I just don’t understand your difficulties. As time goes by I will fight with you for silly reasons and expect you to apologize every single time, and you will grow sick of me. You will realize you were a fool for mistaking my indifference as strength, my aloofness as mystery, my tantrums as feistiness. You will be disappointed. Your dreams for a grand love will be shattered. And I will be the reason for your sorrow.
Like I said, I’m thinking only about myself when I ask you not to fall in love with me…